Thursday, December 2, 2010

Why Pregnancy Rocks!

My last post was all about the top ten reasons why pregnancy sucks. I decided this time to tell you all ten reasons why pregnancy rocks!

1. Big, stretchy pants. Ohhh…yes, this has to be number one. Because maternity pants aren’t just big and stretchy and comfortable, they are also stylish! In 2010, gigantic pregnant women can sport everything from professional slacks to sexy-ass jeans. And the best part? They have these huge panels for our bellies and these sweet elastic waist bands that NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE. They make our butts looks good, while keeping our fronts safely covered from being exposed. And as a side benefit—we can eat as much as we want! Big Thanksgiving dinner? HA! No problem. Just let me go put on my pants! Seriously… I don’t think I’m going to be able to go back to regular jeans after this.


2. New BOTTIBONS! Don’t know what BOTTIBONS are? It’s a word my daughter Charlie came up when referring to breasts. And let me tell you…pregnancy has done wonders to my BOTTIBONS. I’m enjoying them now because I know that all too soon my new C-cups will disappear and I’ll be left with two things that will barely make me look like a woman. Did I just make you blush? Just keep reading…

3. No guilt. Well…maybe a little, but definitely less than usual. Do you ever feel bad about eating too much? Feel shame over that extra piece of pie you had on Thanksgiving? I don’t. I’m growing a human. I deserve the pie.

4. An excuse. And a valid one. I go to the gym at least five days a week (it helps mellow the small amount of guilt I do retain) and when my instructor (yes, I totally claim her) is yelling at the class to load up their bars with fifty+ pounds of weight and heft it over their shoulders like mules, guess what? I don’t have to. Because my doctor said so.

5. Understanding foot and back rubs. Now I have a great husband. He’s pretty much up there with awesome and Antonio Banderas but lately the foot rubs come quicker and last longer. I’m not complaining.

6. The right to act like a witch with a B. Let’s get one thing straight. I really don’t think that I’ve been crabbier than normal. Occasionally I’ll have a meltdown over something really serious, like Brad taking the last piece of pie, and start screaming. But most of the time…I’m the same pre-pregnant Meagan I always was. Only now, my dear sweet husband chalks any of my outbursts up to hormones and backaches and sleepless nights. At first, I’d get angry when he’d sympathetically pat me on the back and tell me that I was just acting like a crazy person because I was pregnant. Now? Well…whenever he brings up my “excuse” I smile inside and think “SUCKER! This isn’t hormones…this is just. me. But, hey... I’ll let you think whatever you want.”

7. People are nicer to you. It’s as if you have a disease or something to some people. Because they treat you like you're about to die. There’s a cashier that I run into at Wal-Mart at least once a week. She is crabby and mean and I avoid her checkout like the plague. Occasionally, however, I’ll get in her lane without realizing it. The last time this happened, she looked at my belly and proceeded to put ALL of my groceries in my cart. How often does this happen to you at Wal-mart?

8. If you can’t see it—you don’t have to worry about shaving it. And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

9. Lately I don’t feel the need to hurry through my day. The truth is…I can’t. I’m like a walking carpet and moving fast is just not in the cards. This isn’t to say that I’m not getting stuff done. I’m still productive, but I don’t feel the intense stress of having to vacuum the entire house in less than a minute so I can move on to making dinner and scouring the tub all before nine in the morning. I’ve accepted that right now…I move slow. And guess what? It’s kind of nice.

10. This last one is one of the best. Feeling those little kicks and turns and hiccups. There’s nothing like it in the world, and I have to be honest—I’m enjoying every minute of it.

5 comments:

  1. Paul doesn't agree with number 8. But I think this is hilarious because it is true.

    ReplyDelete
  2. OH man, Love it! I'm gonna remember this when I'm pregnant and hating it!

    ReplyDelete