Where'd my stars go?

Have you ever had those days where things just don't work out? I'm not talking about those days where you wish you hadn't been born or that if you had been born, you wish that you had the lifespan of a fly. I'm talking about the days where nothing really goes that wrong, but, then again, nothing really goes that right either.

The laundry is done, the bathrooms are scrubbed. There are no hugely depressing tasks at hand to make you hate the day. You just wish that something would happen. Something really exciting and unexpected! Like finding fifty bucks under the couch, or getting a long awaited call from an agent, or something totally awesome like that. But then NOTHING like that happens and the day just seems long.

Today has been one of those long days.

Not horrible. Not good. Just there. Staring you in the face. Seemingly endless. Yes. One of THOSE days.

On days like this I wonder what happened. What went wrong? I woke up in a positive mood. Things seem to be as they always are. So why does the day suck?

There is only one thing to do on those days. Work harder. Push through it. Prepare for the hope of tomorrow. And, yes, sometimes after all that you just need to give yourself permission to eat the cake, watch stupid television, and put your pajamas on at four in the afternoon. Tomorrow will be better.

Pilates and David

So I don't know if I was Superwoman yesterday, but I certainly felt accomplished. I ate healthy food. (I didn't eat five muffins for dinner. They were seriously good.) I worked out ( And then I sat in a hot tub so my sore muscles felt better.) I didn't yell at my kids. (Well, I didn't yell at my kids much.)  See...accomplished. :)

This morning I am going to a core-crossing training class. This is like pilates...only better. She adds weights at the beginning and it is more upbeat, and I have to say, it is the perfect class for any woman who has giving birth. It pulls everything back IN, if you know what I mean. I used to not be a believer in yoga, pilates, etc, but after this year I have changed my mind. These kinds of exercises are essential if you want to actually looked toned. Running is great, but it doesn't have the same effect on your muscles as holding a position for a good amount of time, or if you are my teacher, Allison, WAY TOO LONG.

Ever since I've combined cardio with pilates kind of days, I've seen a difference in my body. Pilates sculpts your body. It carves it into something like the statue of David. Well, okay, maybe I am going to far there, but honestly, it is AWESOME.

So that is how I am starting my day. You know what else is awesome? I'm getting my mom to go with me! ;)    

Seriously? Seriously.

Yeah...that's right. The long lost me has finally decided to return. It's funny how quickly I disappear from here, but I decided last night that I better get my butt in gear. This week I've been sore and cranky and, well, hormonal. It's all been a bit melodramatic. But, I am determined to be Superwoman today. That's right. Anyone want to join me?

I started the day off with a cup of LIFE cereal, a half a cup of 100% juice, one vitamin, and two Tylenol. Hopefully that will be enough to keep the hormones in check and the sore muscles at bay. I'll be at the gym nine o' clock sharp, pumping it out, so hopefully that will get my blood pumping. Then I'm going to race home, clean the house, do the budget, and eat a healthy lunch. See Superwoman.

I'll check back later! ;)  

Control and Balance

Control. Balance. That's what it's all about, folks. Control over yourself and balance in your life. Today, I hope to have both.

Breakfast: Omelet and half a piece of toast. Glass of milk.

Workout: Pilates for an hour. Steam room and hot tub. Okay, you're not really working out in the steam room or the hot tub, but you could. ;) Chew on that!

Snack at 10:45: Bananna! :)

Lunch: One bean burritoe and diced pears. One chocolate candy. Opps! :P

4:00 Snack: A few wheat thins.

Mother Nature and the Indians

So. I've been missing. At least on the internet. And there's a very good reason for that. Well, three, actually.

One, I was on the rag and decided I better use all my mental powers to get through it; two, it was my birthday and I wanted to enjoy it; and three, I've been sick with everything from throwing up to a running nose, to endless coughing (which made it hard to enjoy number two on my list of excuses without a lot of drugs.)


Well, there you have it. Three good reasons why online blogging was pushed to the back burner. Really, I am a horrific blogger, but I take comfort in the fact that no one really reads this outside my family anyway. And they already know I've been sick, been on the rag, and that it was my birthday.


Speaking of being on the rag...I remember my mom told me that a long time ago there was a group of Indians that would actually send their woman away to a different camp when Mother Nature came to call. They would leave the tribe (pack? family group?) and would go off to a special place for the week. I have thought about this idea every single month since she first told me this, which was years ago now. I don't know what the Indians really did during that time, but can you imagine leaving your home for a whole week and going to a place where you were supposed to do nothing but eat chocolate cake and rest with a bunch of other hormonal chicks? Where your husband not only took up the slack of the housework and the children, but also knew it was his duty to do so until you returned from your hiatus? The idea has always appealed to me. And really, it's for the sake of everyone else. Why should they suffer with YOUR PMS symptoms? See. Completely unselfish.


All right. Now that we have that thought out of the way, we can move on. So, I have to admit...I've fallen a little bit off the wagon during my sickness, my birthday, and Mother Nature's call. I didn't dive off or anything, but I've done some things over the past few days that I'm not proud of. The low point was the Pringles. Curse you Pringle-makers!


However, I am moving ahead and forgetting the Pringles and any other slip-ups I may have had. And for my emotional health, I'm not weighing myself today. I'm going to give myself a few days to sit my butt firmly on the wagon once again before I start looking at numbers.


BREAKFAST: Poached egg, toast, orange juice.


GYM TIME: Haven't gotten there yet...but planning on it.


Did anyone happen to catch Jamie Oliver's new show last night? Wow. Amazing. Really made you think about all the stuff we put in our mouths, in our children's mouths. Main point. Think raw ingredients when you are cooking. This processed junk is such JUNK!


I know. I'm so profound.

Today...

Okay... 148.5. :) I surprised that I am still 148.5, because my boobs feel like lead weights. Ladies. You know what I'm talking about. Mother Nature is on her way, and holy utters, I feel it.


BREAKFAST: Honey Bunches of Oats with fresh strawberries.


So, weekends are always hard. Why? Because they provide an excellent time to indulge in unnecessary and often unhealthy behavior. It's easier to grab a bag of cookies or have thirds on dinner on the weekend because your brain is thinking, "Relax! It's okay! It's the weekend!"


I think it has been proven somewhere that people eat more on the weekend. I think I heard it on the news or something like that, but it makes total sense to me. So, this weekend I'm going to do my best to not overindulge.


Now, you might have been wondering, if you have been following my food diary, why you haven't seen any cookies or ice cream or cake? Am I never going to eat those evil things again?


Of course I am. But not quite yet. Why? Well, first of all, I am on a mission to lose like thirteen pounds. Cookies seem against the point. But more importantly, I am learning to trust myself with food. I need to know that I'm not going to eat a whole batch of cookies. I need to know that I can have one and be happy with it. I am talking in extremes (I’ve rarely ate a whole batch of cookies by myself) but you get the idea.


So, I’m headed to the gym. Tonight we are having a girl’s night in and watching a movie. Brad says he’s invited, and I told him he had to wear a wig. He one-upped me and said he'd wear a bra.  

Yesterday...

BREAKFAST: One poached egg, one piece of whole wheat toast, glass of orange juice

GYM TIME: One hour of pilates.

LUNCH: Carefully portioned spagetti with hamburger, one cheese, garlic biscuit.

Walked to the school to pick the kids.

Today the scale read 149. Hmmm...a half a pound more than yesterday? Guess what? Not even worried. I didn't do anything yesterday to be ashamed of. My body is adjusting. It will figure it out. In the meantime...I've got stuff to do! ;)

Breakfast...

BREAKFAST: Oatmeal with blueberries and one tablespoon of wheat germ, glass of milk.

LUNCH: Salad with turkey slices and a banana.

SNACK: Five Ritz crackers and string cheese.

DINNER: Spaghetti, one cheese, garlic biscuit, fruit salad.


YESTERDAY'S VICTORIES: Didn't overeat for dinner. (I made steak and baked potatoes; this is a big deal!)


TODAY'S VICTORIES: Ate oatmeal and wheat germ for breakfast.


148.5. That's the new number people. Can you believe it? I can't. And if you think that losing five pounds isn't very much, pick up a five pound weight. You'll change your mind.

What about you? What are you going to do today to feel good about yourself? I highly recommend the oatmeal and wheat germ.  
    

Third day ughs...

LAST NIGHTS DINNER: Whole wheat, blueberry pancakes, a poached egg, glass of orange juice.

YESTERDAY'S WORKOUT: Thirty-five minutes on bike, lifted weights (honestly, I'm glad I did anything at all)

YESTERDAY'S VICTORIES: Stayed away from my mom's homemade bread with butter. Replaced midnight snack with facial.

Good morning. It's the third day of my mission, and this morning I was starting to feel that third day, "Ugh. Do I really want to DO this?"

And this is strange because I've been feeling amazing. Everything seems to be working. My arms. My legs. My (cough, cough) inner systems. Not only that... I feel in control of myself. I'm getting more done with less time. Who knew this would be a perk to wanting to look good in shorts.

The problem is, it's just so hard focusing on eating healthy and not just popping stuff in my mouth at random. And yesterday, I really didn't want to go to the gym at 8:00 at night. The problem is, it's NOT EASY TRYING TO BE A HEALTHY PERSON. But guess what, this morning the scale read 149.

149 POUNDS.

You can hold the applause.

And while I am starting to get a big head about it, and I'm starting me make all you other wonderful people feel bad, I know that, really, losing four and a half pounds is NOTHING. The real challenge will be in a few days. It will be when I hit that wall of 145, or when I have a craving for chocolate cake, or when I want to eat a mountain of mashed potatoes because I think they taste good. That is the real challenge.

BREAKFAST: 2 Whole wheat, blueberry pancakes (because I do leftovers A LOT) and a glass of milk

GYM TIME: Zumba for 30 mins, Step-stepper for 20 mins, calf raises...only three sets, because they hurt.

LUNCH: Chef salad with turkey, diced ham, red peppers, celery, cucumber, carrots, sprinkled with cheese. 1/4 cup fruit cocktail.

SNACK: Half of a green apple and string cheese.

DINNER: One baked potatoe (light on butter), asparagus, small steak, water with lemon. 

SNACK: One Mousse Temptation Jello (60 calories)

It's a beautiful morning... (Singing the song in my head)

LAST NIGHT'S DINNER: ONE lentil burrito, light on the cheese, stuffed with spinach. A forth a cup of fruit cocktail, three red pepper slices.

Okay, so I woke up this morning and thought something like this, "HOLY SH!T! Did I just tell the whole world yesterday how much I weigh?

And then I answered myself, "Why yes, yes you did. Idiot."

But then I got on the scale and guess what? It read 150.00. So far, I've lost three and a half pounds. Seriously, sounds great, huh? And I know exactly how it happened. One, I replaced junk food with water. Two, I didn't have seconds on dinner (very important). And three, I worked out. Hard.

However, the truth is... it's no big deal to loose three and a half pounds. Anyone can be good for a day. And quite honestly... I've been hovering between 145 to 150 for a long time. When I weigh 145, I actually get a big head about it.

So now the hard part sets in. Somehow, I have to knock down that 145 wall.

Soooo....
BREAKFAST: 1/2 bowl bran flakes, 1/2 a banana.

;) I'll check back later!

LUNCH: ONE lentil burrito with spinich and a 1/4 cup fruit cocktail.

SNACK: One raspberry yoplait yogurt.

DINNER: Whole wheat, blueberry pancakes, a poached egg, glass of orange juice.

How Bridge Jones came in to play... :)

Dear Diary and everyone else who is stupid enough to read this,

Yesterday, I realized I was fatter than I wanted to be. So, I decided to keep this diary. I re-watched Bridget Jones Diary the other day and it inspired me to create this blog as an online journal. Of course, I can't really be Bridget's clone because I've been married for eight years and I have two kids. But let's just say, I like her diary style, so that's where the web address came in to play.

I've tried to keep a notebook, but this doesn't seem to work out. I either loose it or decide to write my shopping list in it or completely forget about it. However, like 99% of all of you, I'm at my computer a whole lot. So online--here we go.

Here's the deal. I went shopping with my sister yesterday, and I realized that I really didn't like the way I looked in ANYTHING I tried on. Mind you, my self-esteem is pretty good. There are many times during my week where I look in the mirror and think, "Wow, you go girl! Work that stuff!"

Of course, there are the other times, like this morning, when I wake up and think, "What is wrong with your face? Are those zits? ACTUAL ZITS? Come on! You are almost twenty-seven-years-old! You shouldn't have two, big, red, nasty zits on your face! And what's with the hair? It looks like you took a ride in the dryer and then got electrocuted. And seriously...did that scale just say 153.5?"

Well, yes, the scale did say that this morning.

153.5 POUNDS.

And while I think I pull off 153.5 pounds pretty nicely, perhaps even beautifully, I think I've been in denial. This isn't about the number people! This is about wanting to look extra hot in those shorts, tanks, and bathing suits this summer! So, while it’s not about the number…the number I’m aiming for is 135.

So...out with the old and in with the new.

BREAKFAST: 1/2 a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats and a half a glass of orange juice

GYM TIME: 20 minutes on bike, 50 minutes in a killer step/weights class (almost died)

LUNCH: Chef salad (spinach, lettuce, carrots, celery, turkey, hard-boiled egg) Oh, and water.

SNACK: Half a green apple and a string cheese

DINNER:

Well... you get the idea. So, while I will be detailing my weight-loss journey to my goal weight, I will also be writing about anything that comes into my head, topics might include, but are not limited to: being a mom, being a wife, being a writer, sex, relationships, men, food, hot tubs, the fact that I hate the outdoors most of the time, etc.

And seriously, how committed am I with the whole losing weight thing anyway! I boiled a freakin egg for freakin protein for freakin lunch. That's commitment my friends. Especially when you have a billion other important things to do before five o' clock at night.

So. That's about it. Now I have to run outside and teach my seven-year-old how to ride her new bike. Exercise, right? I'll see you here tomorrow. And, dammit, that scale better tell me something better.

Note to self: Never buy cherry air fresheners for the car. They smell like cough syrup.